note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
