are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
