Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm at about main and main street
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm bleeding and have questions
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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