we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
