I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
