I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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