:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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