Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
