He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
