oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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