Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
