From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
