i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
