omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
