lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
