Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I did not marry a roomba.
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