You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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