But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
