Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
