guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
