I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
