Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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