If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
