How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
