they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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