Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
