I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You made out with two different species that night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
