Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
