Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
