Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
