ya dads aren't the best wingmen
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
