its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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