this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
