You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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