I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
