As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
