Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
