fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
