I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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