There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
