She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
