I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
