That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
