her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We need to get me chipped asap
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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