I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
