i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
