Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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