Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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