if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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