i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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