Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is wine microwaveable?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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