google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We have started to decorate penises.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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