the condom got lost in my hair
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
